My heart wasn’t in it…

Remember that brand new teaching job I just started? Well.. I quit.

When I went back into the classroom, I was looking forward to feeling a sense of completeness. I was looking forward to feeling “at home” again with students. Having my own classroom, my own “kids”, my own… well, everything. I’ve learned so much over the last two years from being out of the classroom and creating resources, that I was excited to jump right in and put my resources to use.
Unfortunately, that’s not what happened. I found myself stressed. Like, super stressed. I was stressed over the fact that I was no longer going to be home to get my daughter off the bus. Stressed over how my “part time” teaching job was consuming every waking (and sleeping) second of my day. Stressed over how my heart just didn’t feel the joy I was looking forward to. I realized something that scared me. My heart, just wasn’t in it anymore. My heart is at home with my kids. My heart is in writing resources that other teachers love. My heart… has changed.
Change can be scary and change can be fun. Change can be confusing. This change was really messing with my mind. I talked to my husband a lot. We decided (ok, I decided and he supported me 100%) that it wasn’t my time to go back into the classroom. We don’t need the income, or the stress, or the change in routine for our children. Plus, I have the opportunity to work FULL TIME from home. Doing what I LOVE. So… I resigned.
I didn’t quit right away. That wouldn’t have been fair to my students or my principal. am going to stay on board through the end of next week, two weeks after I submitted my resignation. I offered to hand over my lesson plans to the new teacher and even leave my classroom décor in tact. I didn’t want my decision to leave to become a burden and a stress to the person coming in. I also wanted to leave gracefully.

I was nervous to tell my family and friends. I thought they’d think I was crazy. To my surprise, they didn’t. Well, at least I don’t think they did! They all agreed that my family needs to come first. My marriage, my children and my happiness are far more important than a job. The additional income can come later.

Money isn’t everything. These precious moments with my children, like not rushing my son off to daycare in the morning, volunteering in my daughter’s class, going on every field trip… those moments can’t come later. With each day, my children grow. With each day, they inch closer to the day when they won’t want me the way they do now. These days and moments and seconds with them are what make my heart happy. With them, here at home, is where I belong!